Getting along with an ex is not easy. After all, there is a reason he or she is an ex. However, if you have children, putting aside your differences for their sake can result in less stress for everyone.
According to Parents Magazine, shared physical custody occurs when the Oregon court awards guardianship of a child to both parents. Dividing holidays, summer vacations and setting up a schedule that splits time between two households is challenging under the best circumstances. The logistics become more complicated when adding in after school activities and transportation issues. Here are some tips to help make the process easier:
Maintain a respectful, cooperative arrangement by keeping negative comments to yourself. Although venting is a beneficial way to get past irritation, frustration or anger, do not do it in front of your kids. It can make them conflicted and cause them undue stress.
Before pushing for significant custody time, consider your schedule and commitments. If you work six days a week, 12-hour days or travel frequently, it may not make sense to insist that your child spends half their time with you. Consider negotiating for more time during the holidays or in the summer.
Each child is different, so creating a customized custody arrangement is practical if you have multiple children. Take each child’s age, personality and schedule into account when looking at the calendar. The distance between each parent’s home may also play a part in situational logistics.
If your kids are older, involve them in the process. Taking their feelings and preferences into account can help them become more agreeable to this change in their life.